EXPRESS: Yejin Kee, South Korea

In an environment where societal pressure is normal, Yejin often feels trapped in her circumstances, as her social anxiety doesn’t seem to be tamed in Korea. She wrote a collection of poems to convey her suffocation, trying to find a way to enunciate her feelings through written works. She wrote “My Ocean” as a tribute to her suffocating emotions at school and in general, in which she feels ‘lonely and lost’ like a dark ocean. “Nothing” was a poem that portrayed her social anxiety and isolation, where she recounts different moments that happened to her and how she felt through metaphors like ‘knives’ and ‘crimson blood’. “Our Country”, the last poem, was more about social justice issues and how her different opinions contrast with those of the internet and her peers around her. Overall, Yejin conveys her desperation and emotions through anguish and powerful writing, as she tries to guide herself through the darkness of the world and her own feelings.

My Ocean
By: Key 

I feel it again
The air is a biting cold
Mirroring the chilling water
I desperately try not to gulp down
It’s cold
It’s dark
It’s lonely
The lighthouse is broken again
I swim towards my raft
Yet it keeps getting caught in the sharp obsidian rocks
I reach out my hand
Waiting for a savior
Yet there are none
That clasp my arm
I’m going under again. 

“Nothing”

It’s always ‘be confident’
Until your peers in class
Snicker to themselves
When you trip over your words
During a speech or presentation,
Your teacher awkwardly trying to tell you
That you went over the time limit
And that it’s best
To go back to your seat
Ignoring the deep red flushing
Your cheeks like drops of
Blood. 

It’s always ‘be confident’
Until a boy remarks
That you look like one
In that dress
Since your chest is too flat.
Only it isn’t the fact
That he said that
That made you bleed of shame
But it’s when your friends
Throw savage insults back
To defend you
That makes you cry crimson
Because you know it looks foolish
To deny something so true.

It’s always ‘be confident’
Until your mom asks you why
You came back from a party early
Each time you try to sound words out
Is like a stab in the throat
Locking them back in
Because you’d rather have
Your voice forgotten
Than admit that your mind flurries
Whenever you’re talking
And your palms and your eyes drip
Oh, how terrifying it is
To be trapped in the spotlight
When all you ever want
Is to be hidden away in the crowd.

It’s always ‘be confident’
But how can I be so
When I feel as if my bare existence
Is so shameful?

Our Country
Written by: Key 

Say that again to my face
Say that again, say it with all
Your might

Except it’s impossible
You can’t because
Your parents are watching you
Your friends are judging you
You teachers, your mentors,
Your lover, your neighborhood
All monitor each and every step
You take
Everything you say
Becomes embedded into the scrolls
Of their minds

Even if you had to mock a girl
For getting pregnant so early
Or a man
For shedding tears in public
Or abandon everything
You think you stand for
Your cowardice never fails
To leave you
Until its the only thing you have left
The only thing to protect your
Miserable conscious
From breaking apart

You say you’re scared

But what about me?