Hello! I elected to write my first post about regret. This is something everyone has dealt with at least once in their lives. The photo I sent you in this email was the cover art for my penultimate album. The premise of it is summarized in both the project name and my stage alias. My collection of songs has been titled Tsundere, which is a Japanese term in reference to when a cold-hearted person becomes more loving and undergoes a redemption arc essentially. I go by the name Saint Judas. It may sound oxymoronic, but that’s intentional. I aim to be a good man in spite of all the crimes I’ve committed. I have a disturbing past, but I’m trying to turn it into a positive with my newfound perspective.
I illustrate this story because it’s a unique and touching one. Regret is a taboo topic. You don’t see many people come out and say I did this, and this was really messed up. Most of us have done at least one mean thing we feel ashamed of, some more than others. When we do these things, we don’t open up because we’re afraid of what others will think. I intend to break the precedent by putting myself and all my wrongs out there for the world to see. We all have our faults, and that’s okay is my overarching theme.
My wish is to remind everyone that they’re still beautiful and encourage people to be more vulnerable. We can’t heal what we never reveal. I’m also a pretty relatable person to anyone who has lived through similar experiences as myself. There’s solace to be found in that. I’ve risen from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs. I recall a time feeling so suicidal that even family wasn’t enough of a reason to want to live anymore, and now I’ve made it here! A friend once told me, “Our lives don’t end when we die but when we lose faith.” I’ve found my calling and know why I’m here. To help people discover their being and live with it is my mission.
The cover art for my album is meant to symbolize the perseverance of hope through dark times. This is something I imagine many people could relate to, as everyone else is fighting battles we know nothing about. However, I choose to believe that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so much for the platform! I intend to discuss even more important matters about the world we live in. It means everything to me that I’ve been granted this opportunity.
EXPRESS is a new section of our blog devoted to YTP’s creative community.
