Our connection with Avery began through an extraordinary act of generosity. In July, she selected The Yellow Tulip Project as the nonprofit beneficiary of her heART Print Club, donating the month’s proceeds to support our work. Then, Avery sent us her beautiful tulip artwork, and we were in awe.
We immediately felt a connection to both Avery and her art and wanted to learn more about the person and story behind it. After a heartfelt conversation, Avery graciously agreed to share her journey with our YTP community.
In this deeply personal EXPRESS story, Avery reflects on losing her brother to cancer, living with chronic illness, and the fear she once carried around sharing her emotions. She also reveals how art and writing became safe places to process what she could not always say aloud, and eventually, powerful ways to connect with and help others.
We are honored to share Avery’s story of grief, vulnerability, creativity, and hope.
“Creating art has always been an outlet for me for as long as I can remember.
When I was around five years old, my brother was diagnosed with cancer – and while I might not have completely understood the gravity of the situation, I knew my life was changing in a way that made me feel scared and sad. I was always a quiet kid who kept to myself and wasn’t much for talking; my older brother was a chatterbox for both of us, which, honestly, I loved.
While I didn’t talk much, I was always coloring or creating in some way. Throughout my childhood, while my brother was battling his cancer, there were times when I would open up to a friend and share some of my life; unfortunately, a few times I ended up losing friends after confiding and talking about my feelings. I started to correlate talking about feelings with losing friends, and turned even more inward with my emotions. Deep down, I knew I needed to talk about it, so I started writing and creating art that I kept to myself. Looking back, my heart breaks for that little girl who was scared to talk. But I am so happy that she always had art as a way to express herself.
When I was a freshman in high school, my brother Paul died from cancer, and a new wave of emotions and grief washed over me. By then, I had become a master of compartmentalizing my life. But when my world shattered and my brother died, I was left trying to pick up the pieces. I felt like everyone was watching me as I tried to navigate the loss of my brother and best friend. I tried so hard to conceal the mess that, eventually, the shards of glass and pain left marks, creating cracks in my carefully crafted facade.
Thankfully, at school I had a few teachers who created a place for me to open up and be myself. They not only encouraged me to express myself through art and writing – they had conversations with me that normalized talking about how I felt. While I had been using art as a coping tool, they encouraged me to share it with the world. Slowly, I started to open up and share my art, which led to more conversations and more openness with my family and peers; I started to gain confidence in myself and didn’t feel like my emotions were a burden.
To this day, I use art to support my mental health. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that changed the way I had to live my life. I was really struggling with my body, which started to affect my mind. I once again felt like a burden and started to retreat into myself and compartmentalize my life. I have an “invisible illness,” where I can look completely normal and put together on the outside, but the pain and disability are taking over on the inside. And as I am talking about my limited physical health issues, they could also easily describe my mental health as well. Luckily, I had an amazing support system around me to remind me and help me through this time.
I also had my art and writing – whenever I started to get an overwhelming feeling, I would turn to these two tools. Sometimes I would start writing or painting, not even knowing what I was creating, but by the end I felt so much better. It has helped me time and time again.
Even as I sat down to write this, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share or how vulnerable I wanted to be, because let’s be honest, the idea of sharing your feelings can be scary! But what I have found over the years is that the idea is much more frightening than the reality. Whenever I have opened up or shared, it’s actually been met with positivity. Something I wish I could share with my younger self is that opening up and letting people in isn’t something to be scared of. If anything, it is empowering and can create connections and experiences that you never would have if you didn’t take the chance to talk to someone.
Creating personal art has led me to create art for others. This past year, I’ve used my art to raise funds for nonprofits that make a difference in my community. That is how I ended up here at the Yellow Tulip Project. I have a print club called the heART Print Club that supports different nonprofits each month, and we raised funds for YTP in July!
From my own personal journey of navigating how to talk about my mental health, I knew that what the YTP is doing is so important. That is why I am such a huge advocate for breaking the stigma that surrounds mental health. I hope sharing this helps someone feel less alone. Also, the world needs more art in it – so go create something; trust me, it makes a huge difference!”
